Imago Relationship Therapy

Imago therapy was created by two therapists; Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Kunt, who have written some amazing books on relationships. The most noteworthy is Getting the Love You Want, and my absolute favorite, is Receiving Love: Transform Your Relationship by Letting Yourself be Loved.

Imago relationship therapy is credited for the creation of Imago dialogue where the tenets of communication are validation, mirroring, empathy, speaking with safety, listening to understand, accept their understanding, and welcoming empathy. The dialogue is only the tip of the iceberg for this kind of work. 

Imago therapy takes couples on an incredible journey of self discovery, all while learning more about who their partner is. Imago therapy brings light to the way couples show up in relationships. A real understanding is created in how they love and how they receive love. The imago trained therapist shows the couple how to see their relationship as outside of themselves and therefore, the relationship becomes a third party capable of healing the parts that are blocked and then open themselves to communication exchange and connection.

So often a couple’s unconscious behaviors get wrapped up in themselves to where neither can see clearly, leaving the couple stuck and unable to heal, unable to move forward. Imago relationship therapy has a beautiful way of waking up the individuals to their subconcious by bringing to light how projection, defensiveness, the imbalance of closeness/separateness, and the dance of maximizing and minimizing gets a couple nowhere. The subconscious defenses that individuals have in relationships are adapted protection strategies. Imago relationship therapy believes that most couples who come together are the complement to the others potential for healing and wholeness. One key concept in Imago Relationship Therapy is the "imago," which refers to the unconscious image of the ideal partner that we carry from childhood. The therapy helps couples identify their imagoes and understand how their imagoes influence their relationship dynamics. Thus the term “imago match” was created. (I love it when I hear couples say, “I think they are my imago match.”)

Imago therapy takes the couple closer to the origins of their relationship issues and brings the subconscious to the surface for a positive chance at integration and wholeness. Imago therapy gives a couple a real blueprint for acceptance, understanding, and connection for both partners. The Imago dialogue is what helps to continue the healing toward wholeness.

Imago relationship therapy