Emotionally Focused Therapy

Emotionally focused therapy is a style of couples therapy that is grounded in attachment theory. This style of couples therapy focuses on creating a safe and secure connection with your partner.  

Emotionally focused therapy helps couples understand why they go into fight or flight mode and aids couples in identifying the patterns of communication that perpetuate disconnection. The couples are taught to view the times of disconnection as a cry for connection. The individuals learn to identify their need for safe attunement and connection, also known as their “attachment cry.” This information is what helps the couple become more emotionally responsive in the relationship. 

In emotionally focused therapy there are three components to being emotionally responsive. These are accessibility - can I reach my partner?  responsiveness - can I rely on my partner to respond to me emotionally? and engagement - do I know my partner will value me and stay close?  (Johnson 49-50) 

After learning these methods in emotionally focused therapy, couples will be able to catch their partner’s attachment cues and will be able to stop themselves before getting caught up in a negative pattern.  

For more information on emotionally focused therapy please read the book Hold Me Tight: seven conversations for a lifetime of love, Susan M. Johnson (Author)

Couples learn how to: