If you don't know your or your partner's love language, click here to take the quiz.
Use the 5 love languages as an anchor point to learn how to build connection in your relationship. This can be a helpful tool for building connection because you can start to understand how to communicate love in the way your partner will receive and appreciate it. You do this by learning which love language is most important to your partner and tailoring your actions to show love in the way that is most meaningful to them. When you communicate love in a way that is received well, it creates a positive cycle of giving and receiving that can strengthen your relationship.
Not to mention, using the 5 love languages as a guide, brings the concept of connecting to your partner to real actionable steps. So often I see couples get overwhelmed by not knowing where to start when trying to tackle creating more connection. Use this post as a guide to practice connecting with your partner in different ways. I have broken down each love language with specific examples of how to create a connection, hope this is helpful!!
Physical Touch
If you or your partner receive love this way, you get to communicate love and connection through nonverbal communication. Physical touch takes the guessing out of what to say or do. All you have to do is remember to touch your partner. Learn how to move into non-sexual touch. So often partners complain that their partner initiates touch solely with sexual advances attached. Learn to give affection from a loving, comforting place. Where you are giving your partner the messages, "I am here," "I love you," "I appreciate you," and "You are safe." A loving gaze or intentional eye contact can convey the same message without the use of words. Find time to give unexpected hugs, place your hand on their shoulder, rub their back, or put your hand on their knee. All of these convey a message of assurance and love.
Acts of Service
If you or your partner receive love this way, you get to communicate love and connection through action. Action shows your partner, that you are listening to them, you are considering them and you want to be a part of the relationship. You show your partner you are a team through acts of service. Here are some examples; preemptively complete a household chore when you get home or wake up in the morning i.e., dishes, laundry, straightening toys, etc. Offer to run errands. i.e., grocery shopping, dry cleaning, and picking the kids up from school. Actions are a great way to show your partner you are committed to the relationship and that you do not take your partner for granted. Jumping into tasks around the house or taking care of errands can seem like doing your duties as a partner but if your partner receives love this way, you will find they will feel more assurance in the relationship and will feel more connected to you.
Quality Time
If you or your partner receive love this way, by spending quality time together you get to create uninterrupted moments with your partner. These moments convey the message, "You are important," "I value what you have to say," and "I respect and appreciate you." When you create these uninterrupted times together and give your undivided attention to your partner, they will feel secure in the relationship and will know that you prioritize and value connecting with them. Here are some examples; create time with no distractions, initiate a shared activity; movie, beach walk, hike, play a game, movie, etc. Spend evenings sharing a glass of wine or tea and sharing about the day. Surprise your partner with a dinner or a Saturday morning, just the two of you free of distractions.
Words of Affirmation
If you or your partner receive love this way, by hearing affirming and loving words, you get to consistently tell your partner how much they mean to you. Take note of the ways your partner surprises you or makes you proud and verbalize this to them. Give your partner that gift, where they hear how much you treasure, value, and honor who they are as a person. If your partner receives love this way you will see that by using affirming words, they light up. You will witness them soften and turn toward you more often. When you use words of affirmation you are conveying the message, "I see you." This provides them with the feeling they are loved and supported by you. Here are some examples; encourage them by telling them you are proud, believe in them, etc. Use affectionate words such as "I love you" or express how much they mean to you, and remind them of their strengths, and their resilience.
Receiving Gifts
If you or your partner receive love this way, by receiving gifts, they feel most loved by you when they know you have thought of them. Gift gifting is an act of thoughtfulness. This gives your partner the message that they are thought of even if they aren't around. Your partner will feel that they are valuable and worth paying attention to. When you give your partner gifts they are receiving connection, love and ultimately the acknowledgment that they are important. Here are some examples; give your partner a thoughtful gift that shows you were paying attention to their interests, needs, or desires. Give a symbolic gift, something that symbolizes a time in your relationship. Give the gift of experience and plan a day trip. Give a gift for no particular reason to show you were thinking of them.